(Shortform note: Even in today’s tech-driven society, in which we could survive for months without seeing another human, survival remains contingent upon the efforts of many people. Many people built your home, made the food you eat, and contributed to your education. To prove this, he points to the fact that others provide the material goods and services we rely on for survival. The Dalai Lama believes that all humans are dependent on others for their wellbeing and happiness. We’ll then outline the Dalai Lama’s recommendation for establishing connectedness to others to increase our happiness. First, we’ll describe how our happiness is linked to other humans. Now we’ll turn to the second form of happiness training: building strong interpersonal relationships. We’ve discussed the first form of happiness training: cultivating a happiness mindset. Brown breaks self-compassion into three parts: 1) self-forgiveness, 2) self-awareness, and 3) recognition that you’re not the only person struggling with negative feelings.) Build Strong Interpersonal Relationships (Shortform note: For Brené Brown, self-compassion is a key tool for combating negative feelings, particularly harmful perfectionism. For instance, when you find yourself consumed with self-reproach over a bad test grade, tell yourself that your worth isn’t dependent on grades and practice kindness toward yourself. When they arise, counter negative emotions with positive ones, says the Dalai Lama. This has negative consequences for the individual and the company.) Strategy #2: Combat Negative Emotions With Positive Ones In Dare to Lead, Brené Brown writes about employees who overwork themselves to prove their worth. (Shortform note: Developing your self-worth is important for practical reasons, too: When you lack self-worth, you might engage in destructive behaviors in your quest to “earn” your right to exist. It’s important to not attach your self-worth to such things, he adds, as they can diminish over time, meaning your self-worth does the same. You don’t need possessions, beauty, or titles to validate you as a human. In the book, Cutler and the Dalai Lama spend the most time on the Meditation and Wisdom parts of The Threefold Way, and little time on the Ethics part, which concerns behavior, speech, and livelihood.) Strategy #1: Develop Your Self-WorthĪccording to the Dalai Lama, to actively cultivate your happiness mindset, develop your sense of self-worth, regardless of external circumstances. (Shortform note: This chapter falls within the Right Effort step of the Noble Eightfold Path because the following strategies concern altering your thinking-not, as you might think, your actions. We’ll discuss two strategies to make that effort. Now that you’ve developed the motivation to change your mindset, the final step of cultivating a happiness mindset is to make the effort to change, says the Dalai Lama. Achieving enlightenment is a long and winding path, but by writing down your goals, you help yourself stay on that path.) Step 3: Exert Yourself to Change One way to cultivate motivation is to write down the goals you hope to achieve-for instance, to rid yourself of ignorance. (Shortform note: Cutler and the Dalai Lama tell you to motivate yourself to change but don’t provide tools for doing so. You must desire to rid yourself of unhappiness and negative emotions. Simply understanding what makes you unhappy can’t alone eradicate unhappiness, claims the Dalai Lama.
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